Island Halloween (The Witch who looked like Mary Ann)
by Dabbled-at-Euchre
Summary: A Witch attends the Castaway's Halloween Party. One shot.


In a secluded cabin in New Hampshire an old woman in a black dress with a witch's hat stood next to a cauldron. As she stirred it the steam formed into an image of seven castaways on an island, like a magic TV.

They were eating lunch. The one in the sailor's cap said "We should have a Halloween party tonight. Like back home."

There was no real debate. It seemed like an okay idea to all of them.

The woman stirring the cauldron said "Ah, Gilligan. It has been long. Little Mary Ann of Kansas. We shall meet again. And Professor Roy Hinkley. Your advanced degrees cannot save you from my power. Your time is nigh."

That night, Mary Ann started to leave for the party when she heard a "Meow." She turned and saw a shape in the bushes. She closed in to take a better look. The shape gave a "Meow" and went further from the huts. So, she followed.

In a clearing she caught up. "Well hi Kitty. Aren't you a cute black cat. And on Halloween yet? How did you get on the island? We haven't seen you before."

Behind Mary Ann the witch made gestures of power to effect Mary Ann's mind. "Hello Mary Ann. You feel tired don't you."

Mary Ann replied as if hypnotized, "Yes I feel tired."

"You must be sick."

"Yes, I must be sick."

The witch walked over to her cat "You even think you see a black cat and a witch."

"Yes. And I remember the witch from my last Halloween Party in Kansas. Were you a friend of Mr. K? Or Mrs. K? Or both?"

"Actually, I just showed up in costume. It was a large party everyone figured I belonged. But you'd better rest until you feel well again."

"Yes. I'd better rest." Mary Ann turned around, walked to her bunk, lay down and soon fell asleep.

The black cat grew in size to the size of a panther. Meanwhile, the witch shrank down to Mary Ann's size. Then her features altered till she looked just like Mary Ann.

))))

As the sun went down the witch joined five castaways gathered around the table lit by tiki torches. The Howells had picked items of their wardrobes that combined to look like outfits from the "Roaring 20s." Due to the last-minute nature of the event the other three there had simply reassembled costumes that they had worn before. The Skipper was a Pirate, Ginger was Cleopatra, the Professor was a Roman.

Ginger said "Nice costume Mary Ann."

She replied "Thanks. But I'm the witch Esmerelda."

Gilligan arrived. He was dressed in a bowler hat and carried a coconut he'd bored holes into on the fingers of his right hand (like a bowling ball.) He said "Hi Esmerelda. I found this old hat on the Minnow and decided to come as a bowler."

The Skipper asked, "Do you remember how we used to go bowling once in a while."

"Yes Skipper."

"Did anyone at the bowling alley wear a bowler hat?"

"No."

"Then why are you?"

"They had to take their bowlers off to go bowling. You don't wear a hat indoors."

Everyone shrugged. Esmerelda said, "What should we do first?"

Gilligan said, "I know." He went to the supply hut and returned hugging a barrel he was carrying (while still carrying the coconut bowling ball. "No apples here so I thought we could try bobbing for oranges."

The Professor asked, "Wouldn't the protective skin of the orange increase the difficulty factor exponentially?"

"Never thought of that. We'd better try? Anyone want to be first?" When no one stepped forward he set the barrel down, held hands with himself behind his back and leaned in. Then he fell in. As he thrashed around the Skipper came over to pull him out, but his thrashing legs hit the Skipper.

"Ooofffff!" said the Skipper.

The barrel fell over. Everyone stepped aside to avoid the water and oranges that emerged.

Gilligan stood up. "I got one in my teeth but couldn't secure it. Anyone else want a turn?"

No one did. The Skipper made Gilligan gather the oranges and put them on the table.

In response to Gilligan's question, no one had hoarded any candy for their fourth Halloween on the island.

Esmerelda said "Okay. Tradition is tonight we tell Halloween stories, in clockwise fashion, starting from the right of the witch."

Gilligan said, "I'm first! But I don't want to."

"My OTHER right Gilligan." She looked at the Professor.

The Professor told a story of a laboratory he'd worked as a research assistant and one night a poisonous black widow spider escaped its cage… And was recaptured with no trouble.

Ginger asked, "And how is that a Halloween story?"

The Professor replied 'Well, it happened on October 31."

Esmerelda said, "The stories are supposed to be scary."

Slightly embarrassed, the Professor said, "I seem to have mis-understood the purpose of this social custom."

Mr. Howell told of a ghost who made a millionaire's stock portfolio go down $10,000 in value.

Mrs. Howell told of a haunted closet that, after Labor Day, only had white clothes, no matter how many non-whites were put in, resulting in a fashion faux-pas, until the rich lady made it to the store and bought other clothes she kept out of the closet.

Gilligan relaxed. None of these stories were too scary.

Then the Skipper told of one of his first ships in the Navy, a destroyer haunted by the ghosts of some men who'd died when it was torpedoed in the great war. Gilligan found that story quite scary.

Ginger's story had a double menace. A movie she'd made early in her career, "Blood On The Slopes" about a vampire they'd shot on location in a ski resort. Ginger had played the first victim, and had screamed dramatically as a bat changed into a humanoid figure and bit her neck and... the camera cut to her lying down, arms folded, unmoving. She'd been given a train ticket back to Hollywood but first the producer had taken her to dinner to talk about parts she could do in other movies, then walked her to her room and forced himself in and…she stalled him till he felt sick off the clams she'd maneuvered him into ordering at dinner.

Gilligan found the first part terrifying, but had not fully understood the second part. So, he relaxed.

"And now it's your turn Gilligan." Ginger said.

"Oh no. I don't want to remember any scary stuff!"

Esmerelda said "Come on Gilligan. Please. For me."

Since he thought she was Mary Ann he wavered. She added "Maybe something from your hometown. Anything scary ever happen?"

"Well, Skinny Mulligan wanted to take Elanor Pridget to the old saw mill one night for a picnic. But her cousin Laura was visiting. Fatso Flannigan was away on a hunting trip, so he said I should come with them and eat with Laura. He bought fried chicken and soda pop, so I agreed. After we ate Skinny and Elanor went into the other room. I said it was dark and we should all stick together, but Laura said we should let them talk in private and I should stick with her. Then we heard noises."

There was a long pause. Ginger asked, "Did the noises sound like this?" then made kissing noises.

Gilligan said "At first. Then it sounded like" (he banged his wrist against his head twice) "then it sounded like" (he whistled then he made loud choking noises) "then it sounded like" he made a "Wak-Wak-Wak" noise.

Esmerelda smiled. The others stared. They thought they knew where the story was going but now it had taken a wide turn.

Gilligan continued "Then it sounded like" He tapped all ten of his fingers against the table as if he was playing on a piano and made a "na-na-na" sound. "Then Elanor and Skinny ran out. They must have been scared out of their shirts because he had hers in his hand and she had his in her hand. Then there was white smoke and a woman with hair sticking straight up and eyes glowing red! So, we all yelled and ran and ran. Then when we got back to town they told me that Elanor's reputation needed to be protected and we shouldn't tell anyone what happened. I said I couldn't keep a secret. They said okay, just start by telling about the scary woman. So, I told everyone about her and no one believed me."

Esmerelda sighed. "I'm sorry no one believed you." The others also expressed their sympathy.

Soon Gilligan had started to calm down. Then Esmerelda told an old story from Eastern Europe about a witch called Baba Yaga.

Gilligan got terrified and ran and hid up a tree.

The Skipper and Esmerelda went to talk him down. The Skipper said "Come down Gilligan. It was just a story."

"Was it?" he asked.

Esmerelda said "Of course. It was just a Halloween story."

"So, she didn't really want to eat the children."

"No. She just wanted to scare them. Witches love to scare people, not eat them."

"Are you sure?"

"Gilligan. How could two small children escape a powerful witch unless she let them?"

Gilligan pondered this interpretation and then came down.

Esmerelda said, "Later tonight I'll scare some headhunters."

Gilligan smiled. It was just for fun.

They rejoined the others.

Everyone began chatting about Halloween's they'd had back home.

Gilligan was facing Esmerelda's right side. Her hand went up, and she felt her earlobe. Then she said "My earing. It's gone."

Gilligan said, "Where did you have it last?"

"In my hut. Would you mind taking this torch and we can look for it?"

They went to the girl's hut and searched the floor. Gilligan bumped into a bunk. A sleepy voice said "Hello."

Gilligan said "Oopps. Sorry to disturb you Mary Ann. I'm just helping Mary Ann here find her earing."

"Okay."

Gilligan and Esmerelda resumed the search. A sleepy Mary Ann said "What? Say that again?"

Gilligan said "Sorry to bother you Mary Ann. I'm just helping Mary Ann here find her earing."

Mary Ann stood up. She was wearing an elegant evening gown, a tiara and a sash that said "Miss Kansas."

Gilligan nodded at her then turned to Esmerelda. Then he turned quickly and looked at Mary Ann, then Esmerelda, then Mary Ann, then Esmerelda. He yelled "Skipper! Professor! Everyone! Come quick! We have two Mary Anns!"

Esmerelda, Gilligan and Mary Ann emerged from the hut. Everyone stared. The Skipper flipped up his pirate eyepatch and stared with both eyes.

Mr. Howell said, "Which one is the counterfeit?"

Mrs. Howell said, "We should ask them things only Mary Ann would know."

Esmerelda said "I told you I was Esmerelda. You all just didn't believe me. And it should be right about now-"

Loud drums started playing. The kind of drums headhunters attack to. Four headhunters charged the castaways.

The Skipper counter-charged the one on the left. They collided, and both fell to the ground. The Skipper seized the native's club.

Another headhunter grabbed Mrs. Howell. Her husband yelled "Unhand her you Bounder!" The native swung a club at him, left to right, like a baseball batter. Mr. Howell ducked.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Howell took her diamond broach and jabbed the native's left buttock with the pin. The native leapt into the air then retreated. She called out "And next time you abduct a lady, try and be polite about it!"

One headhunter menaced Gilligan. He tried to run but wound up running in place on top of the barrel he'd tripped over earlier. (The barrel rotated as he tried to make distance.) The native stared. Then Gilligan fell forward while droping his coconut bowling ball, which bounced off the barrel and flew into the headhunter's abdomen. He was bowled over, a perfect strike.

The last headhunter grabbed Esmerelda. He yelled at her in his own language. She shrieked shrill curses in the same language.

The other headhunters began to fall back. The one holding Esmerelda barked orders. They left the others and began to drag Esmerelda off. As she shrieked at them in tones of contempt.

The Skipper said "Gilligan! Professor! We have to save her."

Gilligan said, "Save the witch?"

The Skipper said, "Gilligan that's an order!"

Lightning struck in the direction the headhunters had left and immediately thunder boomed. Immediately there was another bolt of lightning and boom of thunder. Then a loud roar of a big cat was heard. Gilligan imagined the cat pouncing and roaring simultaneously. (Strangely it wasn't raining in the clearing, only in the direction of the headhunters.) The drumming stopped, and the headhunters screamed in terror, their screams soon getting farther and farther away.

Before too long Esmerelda and the panther sized black cat came and stood at the edge of the fire's light. Esmerelda's features began to change from Mary Ann's back to her own. Then she slowly grew to the size of a slightly taller then average woman. Meanwhile the black cat slowly shrank down to the size of a house cat.

No one spoke. Then the Professor did. "How intriguing. Are you seeing the witch Gilligan?"

"Yes Professor." Gilligan said with teeth chattering.

"It's an absolutely fascinating mass hallucination. Brought on by our cultural expectations of Halloween. And maybe by the mushrooms we ate last night."

Esmerelda looked so disappointed. "You think I'm a mass hallucination?"

"It's the most rational theory."

"Were the headhunters part of the mass hallucination?"

"Perhaps. If not, it's fascinating how we infected them. In the morning when we're rational I'll check for native footprints."

Esmerelda began to step back. The Professor's compatriots relaxed as she did.

The Skipper said, "Here Professor." He handed over a club. "See if this club is still here in the morning."

The Professor said "Yes, this artifact would prove the headhunter's existence."

Esmerelda said, "Oh Gilligan."

Gilligan stood next to the Skipper. With chattering teeth he said "Yes Esmerelda."

"I'm sorry I got you twice. Years ago, when Millard Fillmore was president, I was a young girl. Elmore Mulligan and Aloysius Hinkley scared me good one Halloween. I became a witch and vowed to scare them and their kin. So, I met you at the sawmill and now here."

Gilligan said, "That was you?"

Her hair began to stick straight up, and her eyes turned the color of flame. Six of the castaways stepped backwards. The Professor said "Bizarre. Gilligan's adolescent fright has incorporated itself into our mass hallucination."

Esmerelda said "Professor Roy Hinkley, you are the biggest spoilsport! Aren't I the least bit frightening?"

"I suppose my arbitrary skepticism of the supernatural makes for frustration. Fortunately, you are only a hallucination and your feelings are imaginary."

She glared at him. Then pulled a broom out of the bushes and she and her cat flew off on it.

))))

The castaways had become accustomed to mortal danger and unlikely occurrences. The next day they began behaving with a facade of normality.

The Skipper and the Professor were talking to Gilligan. In the background was the sound of soft music on the radio.

The Skipper said, "So what made you think yesterday was Halloween?"

Gilligan said "Well the radio said it was October 30. I knew Halloween was the last day in October."

'But October has 31 days."

"Whoops."

The music stopped. An announcer's voice said, "And in the news the scientific community was puzzled by the fluctuations of the gravitational constant."

"WHAT!" Yelled the Professor.

"Yes. Things were lighter and heavier then they should be before it returned to normal. By as much as eight parts in a thousand."

"But Gravity can't change! It just can't!"

"Next scientists have begun to study the unusual behavior of the Earth's magnetic field."

"NO! Not the magnetic field! Is my scientific education so fallible! NOOOOO!"

Suddenly a woman's voice began cackling. "I got you Professor Roy Hinkley! I scared you!"

And there was silence.

So they went and looked for the radio.

They found it on the other side of the settlement. Mary Ann was tapping her feet to "He did the Mash/He did The Monster Mash."

The Skipper asked, "How long have you had the radio Mary Ann?"

She replied, "A half hour or so."

Gilligan said, "Did it say anything about gravity?"

"Gravity? No."

Gilligan said, "Well we'd better check anyway." He picked up a coconut.

The Skipper said "Gilligan what are you- "

Gilligan said "Hey Professor. See if this falls faster or slower than usual." He threw it behind him.

It fell at the normal rate. And hit the Skipper's foot. "OOOFFFF!"

"Sorry Skipper."

He took off his hat. "Oh Gilligan."

"Yes Skipper."

He hit Gilligan with his hat. "Happy Halloween."

The End

A/N-Costumes

The Skipper dressed as a Pirate in 2x20 "Love me, Love my Skipper."

The Professor dressed as a Roman in that same episode.

Ginger dressed as Cleopatra in 1x11 "Angel on the Island."


End file.
